tumblwise

The Kinewise Carols.

——

she knows when you are sleeping
she knows when you’re awake
she knows if you are red or blue so be blue for goodness’ sake

——

She’s casting a dragon.
She’s casting it twice.
Going to kill you,
healer, wizard, or knight.

Kinewiseclause is coming to mow down.

——

Here comes Kinewise
Here comes Kinewise
Melting down Strand’s gates
She’s got a spellbook filled with fel tricks
For hapless nubs today
Hear those chaos bolts whoosh and mangle
Oh what a beautiful sight!
So cap South Graveyard and cover your ass
for Kinewise slays tonight!

——

Kinewise the Stormwind Warlock

had a very ample rack

and when the hordelings saw it

all their jaws were hanging slack

(‘cept Forsaken)

——

Kindle hell, Kindle hell,
It’s murder time, in Arathi.
Fear an orc, see him run,
Soon you will be Battlemaster.

——

Hordelings roasting on a jade green fire
Narcijub nipping at your toes
Evil carols sung by a demonic choir
And folks dressed up in transmog clothes

Everybody knows a warlock and some PVP
Help to make the season bright
Mangled-up orcs with their corpses aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know Kinewise’s on her way
She’s purchased loads of twink gear and she’s itchin’ to slay
And every red-wearing soldier is gonna fry
—at least until the blue team captures south G Y

And so I’m offering this simple phrase 
To levels 1 to 82
Although it’s been said
Many times, many ways
Fiery Locksmas to you

——

Kinewise we have read on high

Deftly blogging ‘bout this game

And the ghost crab in reply

Echoing his wise refrains

——

Lardie, we have healed on high,

 Bravely running far away,

 And said Waypoint in reply,

 macroing this meaty phrase,

 Gloooooorrry, Gloooooooory,

 Word of Glory, Bubble-hearth.

 Light of Dawn, Light’s Hammer.

 Glooooooorry, Glooooory,

 Sacred Shield, Crusader.

 Hand of Salv et nom lardo.

——

Deck the Hold with brains of night elves
fa-la la la la la la la la
‘Tis the best to kill them ourselves
fa-la la la la la la la la la la
Call us all now gay and baddies,
While we afk, u mad bro?
fa la la la la la la la la
Troll in /raid the ancient in-jokes
Fa la la l al ala la la la la la
While we post of Thunderfury
fa la la la l a la la la la la la
See the conq-glad healer before us
fa la la la la la la la la la
While he free-casts Word of Glory
fa la la la la la la la la
Follow me and fight in mid-field
While they farm us in our graveyard
fa lal la la la la la la
Fast away my spirit passes
fa la la la la la la la la la la la
Get eggnog and wait out the timer
fa la la la la la la la la
Sing us all, ye locks and warriors, 
Headless of our wasted queue times
fa la la la la la la la la.

——

Lyrics by @catulla, @druidis4fite, and @stoppableforce.